Where the heck have I been?

I’ve been writing this post over and over in my head and I still don’t quite know where to start. So I’ve decided to just start writing… and see what words come to me as I type. If you were a regular reader of my blog, you may have wondered where I disappeared to or why I haven’t written anything in the last few months. And unfortunately there’s no other way to put it other than – I’ve been in a black hole… ever since my Mom passed away at the beginning of this year. It sounds rather dramatic I know. But it’s the best explanation I can give to describe the space I’m in. My Mom was my inspiration for starting this online space at the beginning of last year. She fought cancer bravely for almost 2 years. During that time I had to learn to accept the idea of Death. The funny thing is I learnt to accept the idea of myself dying. But nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for the loss of a loved one. For the loneliness. For the pain. Or for the mindf–k that grief causes you.

I still don’t quite have the strength or energy to deal with blogging consistently and regularly. So for now, I will be posting as and when I can. And hopefully by slowly returning to blogging it may also provide some light to me in this dark tunnel.

So yes, it’s been a crappy 2017 for me so far…so please bare with me and thanks for sticking around.

18 Comments

  1. Cheryl Lau Foy
    3rd April 2017 / 6:39 AM

    Good to see your blog Nat. Mom will be proud of you that you have made this step. It’s not easy. We all miss Mom dearly.. I was thinking how I miss our whatsapp chats. But Mom will be your inspiration to carry on. Sure Dad will also look forward to your updates to keep him smiling. Take care and lots of love and hugs xxx

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:18 PM

      Thanks for your lovely message Aunty Cheryl.

  2. 3rd April 2017 / 7:34 AM

    Oh dear. I am so sorry for your loss. Indeed 2017 seems riddled with change for us all. I was wndering why I hadn’t seen a blog from you. Without being presumptuous can I please ask you to take as much time to grieve as I have been through similar. Can I also humbly ask you to read blogs titled FOREVER https://currychick.wordpress.com/2016/05/06/845/ and SUCH IS DEATH https://currychick.wordpress.com/2016/08/23/such-is-death/ as I feel blogging about your pain does provide some sort of relief. Please reach out and stay in touch and thinking of you during this difficult time.

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:16 PM

      Thanks Sam

  3. Aysha
    3rd April 2017 / 7:51 AM

    God bless Nat absolutely heart breaking to bury a parent or close loved one. Wish you well and even though you might nit feel it now this period will also be a blessing for you. We learn through hardship and suffering to appreciate this short time we have in earth. Love and light x

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:17 PM

      Thanks so much Aysha. Hope all is well with you.

  4. Liesel
    3rd April 2017 / 8:41 AM

    I am thinking of you in this difficult time and trust that you will find the strength to work through everything that you have to work through.

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:17 PM

      Thanks Liesel, hope alls well with you!

  5. Maria Kyle
    3rd April 2017 / 10:22 AM

    So sorry for your loss and the pain you are having to endure because of it.

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:18 PM

      Thank you Maria

  6. ANGELA YEE LOONG
    3rd April 2017 / 12:16 PM

    Nats I was so happy to see your blog this morning. I hope you’ll find some peace by starting to write again. We all miss Mom. Last year this time I was in South Africa and so excited as I was going to meet up with you all in Cape Town. What makes me smile is I had that opportunity to share that special afternoon with mom and dad and all of you. I feel so blessed for that. Love you and take the time you need but don’t stay away to long. You have so many of us who love you.

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:19 PM

      Thanks Aunty Angie. It’s those precious memories that we have to hold on to.

  7. Lee-Ann
    3rd April 2017 / 4:06 PM

    Well come back Nats, I think we’ve all missed your blogs!! Your blogs are always inspiring and motivational..

    • whatudidntknow
      3rd April 2017 / 10:18 PM

      Thanks my friend, that is awesome of you to say!

  8. 6th April 2017 / 11:41 AM

    It is so hard to loose someone you love and I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now. It is good that you take your time to grief and take a step at a time.

    • whatudidntknow
      7th April 2017 / 6:12 PM

      Hi Miriam, I think one step at a time is the only way to do it really… thank you for commenting.

    • whatudidntknow
      7th April 2017 / 6:11 PM

      Thanks Tanja. Hope you’re well.

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